On Marriage

What they don’t tell you is that marriage is hard. I mean, they do tell you, but they say it in the way that you say a hurricane comes with bad weather or tornadoes consist of a lot of wind. You know this, but you don’t really KNOW until you are in the middle of the storm. I’m not complaining mind you, I’m just pointing out a simple fact.

Mike and I have been together 10 years, married for almost three. That’s a long time. We still experience firsts, more often than you’d think, but there are no surprises when it comes to our personalities. He knows how I am and I know how he is. Done and done. For example, I need to be fed at certain hours…kind of like a gremlin. It needs to happen. If I don’t eat every couple of hours, then I’m just a powder keg of emotions waiting to explode. The kicker is, you don’t know what Elaine you’re going to get. I can become lethargic and tired; or really, really bitchy. I could get delirously hyper then completely crash or feel so sick I need to lie down. Sometimes this all happens at once; an emotional “perfect storm,” if you will. It has already happened.

I was meeting Mike in Manhattan after work got out. At the time, he worked downtown while I worked in New Rochelle where we lived. We were going to see a play, Into the Woods, I think. For some reason we had not planned where we were going to eat prior to the show, figuring we would just get a bite somewhere near the theater. Clearly, we forgot that around Broadway is nothing but chain restaurants and tourists who want to experience the novelty of eating at the Olive Garden in Times Square. By the time we got down to Broadway, after a 25 minute commute and a full day of work, I was close to the point of no return. There’s about a 20 minute window (30 if we’re lucky) from the moment when I say, “I’m hungry” until the fangs come out. It’s so sad. Anyway, here we were trying to eat somewhere but facing hour long lines. The idea of a hot dog from one of the carts, made me gag as did every suggestion short of a sit down meal. That’s another thing, I become super, super picky. So we’re racing against the clock, trying to find something, anything when it hits. Major. Melt. Down. Right there on Broadway. I mean, in the middle of the street crying, shaking, you name it. I’ll never forget Mike’s face. He looked at me like I just sproutted horns and gargolye wings. Eventually we found a place that turned out to be amazing though I didn’t appreciate it until I was into my second basket of bread. Mike about tackled ten people to get to the bar for a soda so I could get something in my system.

Point of the story: Mike saw me as a figure he’d only seen in his nightmares and he married me anyway. Relationships, especially marriage, can get ugly. You experience moments that are so beyond embarrassing that you can only laugh, but you take the plunge anyway. The lows can get pretty low, but with a sense of humor and genuine affection and respect those lows are few and far between. And the highs? It’s better than you see in the movies.

I just have to make sure that I’m fed.

~

Endless Summer Day 26 – 7.9.10 – 6:43pm – Hialeah Gardens, FL – Gordo at Home in the Kitchen

As always…

Love, e