It’s all getting very real. The little kicks a constant reminder that from now on, I’m responsible for someone else entirely. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself. I can’t really picture what he’ll look like or who he’ll become. Will he have Mike’s eyes, my crazy curly hair? Will he be as full of energy as we both tend to be? Right now, almost 23 weeks in, I try not to venture into those parts unknown. If I’m being honest, it doesn’t matter. I’ll love him anyway.
I press on my ever-growing belly and say hello and it’s like he hears me. A little nudge saying that he did. Sometimes I catch Mike staring, a smile playing at his lips, the evidence right in front of him, that yes, we are in fact making a human; that soon the pair of us will be a family of three.
We’re in a state of transition. Come the fall, we’ll most likely be living some place else with the added bonus of caring for a newborn. Though I’m looking forward to it in ways I never thought possible, I’m trying to take things day-by-day. For the first time in my life, I don’t know stress. I’ve chosen to let life be and it’s been the best thing.
We are in a state of flux with a new horizon moving ever closer, but for now I’m enjoying every second of being pregnant. Sure, there are some interesting things that no one ever talks about and I’ve pretty much given up any control I’ve ever had over my body, but I’ve never felt stronger. Even as I lose my breath while climbing stairs or need to have a moment on the couch after a trip to Target, my body has never felt more alive that it does now. I can’t help but think how lucky we are as women that we get to do this. And I feel so unbelievably blessed that I’ve been given this opportunity unlike some who struggle to get to this point.
I don’t know what I did in a past life to deserve the chance to be this growing boy’s mom, but I’ll take it and do my best. Mike and I were talking the other day about parenting and the immense responsibility that will fall on us to help make him a decent human being. I told him that the only thing that we can do is show up. Every day. Just like we show up for each other and fight to keep what have precious, so must we do the same thing with our son. And so we will.
For now, I’m just trying to enjoy that he’s with me every moment of every day. That we are connected in a way that is so beautiful, it defies description.
Here are some growing bump shots taken mostly while working…

Currently Listening to:Anything Could Happen by Ellie Goulding
Love, e